Updated Mileage: Hike 131 miles Bike 202 miles Run 126 miles Drive 16102 miles
A Road By Any Other Name . . .
Driving down a 2-lane highway in rural Connecticut, my navigator suddenly asks, "Is this Boston Post Road you are on?" To be accurate, we are both on the same road, but the tenor of the question implies that whatever road we are on is solely my responsibility. I reply that I turned off Highway 95 onto Route 1 some time back, but since then I have not seen any clue as to the identity of the route that I am traveling. But what’s in a name?
Touring the highways and byways of America, the names of roads and highways have occupied and amused us.
Just as the Eskimos are said to have 40 different words for "snow", there are dozens of words to describe a ribbon of asphalt for the use of automobiles. There are Highways, Freeways, and Thruways. There are Tollways (which cost), and Expressways (which also cost). There are Turnpikes, whose name comes from the pike, a sharp spear-like weapon; the implication being "pay me and I will turn my pike and let you by". Not too far different from the Tollways that we have traveled. Some cities dress up their highways with names like "Boulevard" or "Parkway". Then there are Streets, Avenues, Places, Terraces, Lanes, Drives, Courts, Greenways, Trails, Traces, and Runs. There are the Interstates(I), the State Roads (SR), and the County Roads (CR), and each comes with its own number, unless you are in Wisconsin or Missouri. In these states they give every state and county road a letter, in no particular alphabetical order: "Go out to where D Highway crosses YY Highway, just before it becomes PP Highway" was one actual instruction we obtained when asking directions in Missouri"
Even the manor in which natives speak of their major roads differs. In Washington we say "take I-90 west", while the Californian says "get on The 90". In Colorado they would suggest you "go up Highway 90".
It is the roads with aliases that cause tension between the navigator and the driver. The map says "Highway 1", but the street signs (if any) say "Boston Post Road". But of course the locals who are giving you directions at the Seven-Eleven call the same road "The Diamond Parkway".
All of this discussion of names becomes irrelevant if there are no street signs. As soon as we left Colorado, road markers became scarce. In the tiny towns of the Midwest, there frequently were no street signs at all. Granted, there were only a handful of streets, but their identities were known only to the locals, which made our constant search for Main Street more difficult. Any inquiry as to the names is sure to draw a look of suspicion; why would a stranger want to know the name of that street where the bank is? Farther east, the towns were larger, but they had the odd custom of having signs only for the cross streets, but not for any arterial. I suppose they figure that if you are driving down this street you must already know what street you are on. Which is definitely not the case.
The appellations given to streets and highways are a lesson in culture and history. From the Rockies to the Mississippi we frequently saw roads named for specific people, and not always famous personages. Rather than Washington Street we would find Reverend Thomas J Hobkins Parkway, or Richard Kleinfelter, Jr Boulevard. And of course, native languages have been given free reign. When you come to a complicated intersection somewhere in Virginia, squinting into the driving rain and complete darkness for some idea of where you are, the sign is likely to say "Muskequashehaset Drive". All you can say to the navigator is "are we supposed to be on a street with M in it?" In the historical states where the Revolution and Civil War were contested, every road name seems to ring with cries of Battlefield Parkway or Paul Revere Road.
There are cities that have logic and method to their naming systems, however. Denver has a section where all the streets have the names of the states (in alphabetical order), while the cross streets are numbered. The next section of the city has the presidents, in chronological order: How good are you at history? Then there is a "tree" section of town; if someone lives at 12455 Aspen Street, you just have to drive to the "trees" section of town and find the first named street, and follow it to 124th Avenue. But such strongholds of organization are rare across this great country.
But our favorites are the names that don't take themselves seriously. In the town of West Yellowstone, we took our morning jog along Moose Run. Near the center of Kansas City we found a sign for Easy Street. And in a Seussical fit of whimsy we turned off the highway in Bar Harbor onto Whoville Lane.
Street signs have become our friends, and we are happy to see them, whatever their names. As the great philosopher Yogi Berra said, "If you don’t know where you are going, you are likely to end up someplace else."
PS: After this blog was posted, we visited Atlanta, Georgia, where Peachtree was a common theme; in fact, there were separate streets in and around town called Peachtree Street, Peachtree Drive, Peachtree Way, Peachtree View, Peachtree Forest Terrace, Peachtree Park Drive, Peachtree Walk, Peachtree Memorial Drive, Peachtree Industrial Boulevard, and Peachtree Denwoody Road. Be careful when someone says "just turn left on Peachtree".